Potty Training your Child
Potty training for everyone could be a bit of a headache if you ask me No matter how cute they are.
You know eventually, everyone learns but is the process the same for everyone? There are tons and tons of people saying you can potty train your kid in 3 days. They try to sell you a video or whatever it is a book or what not…
For a parent, it can be pretty overwhelming especially if it’s your first time doing this with your first kid. Now not from experience because I only have one boy; but, I have spoken to mothers of multiple children I seem to get the same response from all of them. Brace yourselves….. Boys are harder to potty train than girls are. For most that
For most that may be the case and of course, there are the exceptions. I think my son did give me a run for it, but he did do it fully and overnight within three weeks. I had therapists tell me that children were not trained until later in life. Well, I took that as a challenge. Yes, you will have your occasional accident because you gave him/her water before bed or something like that, but it’s expected. They are children after all still learning life.
As for myself, I took an online seminar which gave me a few good pointers that I would like to share with you. Though some worked and others well not so much, I guess it depends on the child. Now you may be the luckiest woman in the world like my friend is and her son just randomly told her one-day with no training of any sort “mommy I want to potty in the toilet” and then he pooped in it. That does not happen to the rest of us.
So since this is normal-life and some may have a harder time than others here are a few tips I picked up along the way. If your child seems to be showing signs of interest or your just fed up with diapers already and want to stop spending the money on them and changing your child then here is what you need to prepare yourself for.
The First step is you making the commitment to do it. I start with you the parent because you are going to have to really work on this and not give up no matter how much you want to throw a tantrum, cry, not want to pick up another accident and well…. scream. Mom/Dad, you have to be a TEAM on this one because it can get ugly and you need each other’s support. You also need consistency, if your not consistent when you decide to do this… DON’T BOTHER.
So my first question was when is the “prime time” to potty train. Well, that varies for every family and most of all the child. By the time they are 20-30 months is your focus and ideally at least for me was at 30 months or 2.5 years old range.
My second question was how do I know he/she is “capable” not “ready”? When they can ask for food/drink. Can sing ABC Song (they must be able to understand what you are saying and retain the information). Can throw a tantrum (not so exciting). Shows interest in it, and when you see they go to a corner or private place to poop.
After going through the seminar I learned that you do not take the portable potty out to play. It is not a toy it is a training device which is necessary so that the kids do not get scared of the big potty monster. Take out the potty when you are ready to commit.
Make sure you are mentally and physically prepared. Here are some tips: Make sure you have enough time. The seminar said 3-4 days but forget that! I suggest give yourself at least a week. Take the time off of work if you must, get a tag team ready with your partner if you have one, if you can’t take the entire time off.
You know your child best, potty train the kid you have not someone else’s experience. Just like pregnancy, every child is different and their experience is different. Make sure you work on having them manipulate their own clothing. Pulling pants up and down. They will get the down part easier and you can work with them on pulling their clothes up and then work on putting it on at a later date. Remember 2-year-olds have a tough time pulling the clothes up because their arms are too short still, it’s an act that is hard to do when you’re not proportioned yet.
When you do decide to tackle this make sure you have the potty in all rooms of the house to avoid accidents early on. Once they get it just leave it in the bathroom so they know where to go.
Watch your child and notice behaviors like the peepee dance, grabbing their genitalia or the poo-poo dance. Key things to get them in the toilet and avoid accidents as possible. During this time use elastic clothing while they are commando.
Step 1: Take off the diaper and put it in the trash. Say bye bye diaper! Have your child do it with you and then go commando all day. No matter what your child asks, begs, tantrums do NOT put on that diaper to poop. Make sure you are with your child 24/7 no phone during this time, no computer, no tv for parents it is potty training time so spend the quality time with your kid, this is how you will monitor them.
Step 2: You start bare bummed without prompting, then you put clothes on “commando” style just shorts or easy slip on pants. After they get this down take them out to a store make sure they go pee before leaving the house and once they get to the store, once again before they leave the store so they get used to going in different places.
Step 3: Watch out in giving them too much water to drink. Do not dehydrate them but don’t over do it either. Remember that juice especially orange juice makes you pee more. Once this achieved add the underpants, for my son that was a challenge… he liked being commando. Try showing your child that big people wear underpants and not diapers. Be the example in clothing and bathroom time, let them watch so they learn and feel more comfortable.
What do you do during Nap time? Commando, clean up the mess if any but have them pee before they go to nap with nothing to drink. If you give them a drink expect to clean up the mess. This trains the bladder to hold and contract the urine. This will make night time training easy.
Whatever you do, DO NOT use Pull-ups
Contrary to what you see on TV they really don’t hold much at all, you will end up with more clothing accidents and really unnecessary.
Pooping can be a problem to most kids. Of course it’s scary, I mean you have been pooping in your pants since you were born, something you were very used too and now they take that away and put you in the toilet to have a different experience. How strange! This is how kids think so make it easy on them.
Step 4: Remember just like walking this is a learned expected behavior, praise and bribery may work in some occasions but do not make it a habit especially with candy or anything that may rot your child’s teeth just for this. Make a big deal when they poop, take pictures (do not whatever you do put it on ANY social media) This is a private matter. Jump up and down for joy, dance whatever you want to make your child know they did a good thing. If you can’t get your child to relax
If you can’t get your child to relax give them something they like to do either read a book, play on the ipad; something so they can relax and make the anus relax and have the poop come out. This is all very emotional for a child so emotions have a big part in this success. Relaxation is key… validate body feeling better.
My son got the pee pretty quickly and well like any boy loved the commando. For him, though it was hard/scary to poop in the toilet and he refused to do it, he withheld the poop. At first, I wanted to give in because I was scared he would get constipated if he didn’t. But constipation is when the child wants to go but can’t and withholding he has to go and is preventing the anus to go. I knew he was withholding it, so I gave him a natural laxative like berries or anything that has antioxidants in it or a baby laxative to “make” him go without a choice. If your child continues to withhold there is a “poop fix” coconut milk and avocados are good for this. Then he will go and get over the fear with you next to them of the potty weather in the training potty or the big person potty. I did that and it did work. But later he refused again the next day, no matter the running or walking etc.. I did, he would not go so I sat him down ALL DAY in the toilet and he didn’t get up until he pooped… I gave him a game on the ipad as a relaxation tool and after many many many hours of sitting in the toilet he went and got over the fear of the big boy toilet. There were many funny moments we shared in that bathroom that day, that I will never forget but it did do the trick. Though every child is different.
If your child does become constipated have them eat more fat not fiber. Will make them go…!
As for night-time potty training, some people even the seminar specialist said to go bare bum during this time for potty training. I found that my son did not do that well… so I only put the diaper on at night for bed. I found that he reacted well with this and found it comforting at night for that scary moment of peeing in the bed since the bladder is not fully trained yet. I did this for 2 more weeks and every night there was less and less wet diapers until it was all dry. His words to me were “mommy no more diapers it’s for babies I’m a big boy!” I praised him and kept it on for 5 consecutive nights just to make sure he did have built up the bladder muscles and not just one lucky night. Believe it or not, he had mastered potty training. Day and night time, no pull-ups necessary all in 3 weeks just adding precaution days.
One key for sure that is for successful potty training is going before you leave somewhere, going when you get there, going before you go back home or to the next place. This is training the bladder to go in the toilet, different places, and holding it in at the same time.