When I Found Out (Part 1)

24 Oct

I am going to share my pregnancy story and experiences in hopes that other women can relate and realize that it is ok to feel different. I was one of those women that felt different. You see when I found out I was pregnant I was just finishing up grad school planning to become a professor at a university. I must admit I cried and cried and well I cried some more when the little blue line showed up. I was not yet married to my fiancé.  I felt I did not have my life together just yet to be ready to have a child come into this world. Though I did not think my life was over or blame the baby but I did feel cheated in life just a year too short.  I knew I was not going to be able to get a job anywhere because of the pregnancy and really had to make a decision on my relationship. My new main focus was to create a family for my new baby and make sure I finished my masters so that when I could go back to work or wanted to go to work I had the education to do so with ease.

I was petrified at all these decisions I had to make so quickly that I internally still needed more time, but I did not have it physically.  I am thankful to God that I am a fertile woman because I know some women have issues or may not be fertile at all. But I was still not at the place where I wanted to be before bringing a child to this world. My first decision was to get married, some women choose differently and that is ok too unlike what people may tell you.  My decision was my own I did what I felt was right for me, other women may think differently and that is ok.

Through planning a wedding and finishing up my thesis I realized that I had grown to not enjoy pregnancy like women would tell me “I should”. Some women like being pregnant and actually enjoy it… well not me, I’m one of the women that do not enjoy being pregnant. I thought I was a bad mother or horrible person for feeling that way but I soon found out later that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. Other women feel that way too and if this is you I want you to know that it is ok to feel that way. No you are not a bad person or mother for feeling that.  I mean come on, you loose total control of your body, all these nauseating things start to happen to you, you are totally uncomfortable and the list goes on, why would you like it? Some women enjoy it or don’t have such a bad experience with it.

Love your family and watch them grow, leave your feedback so Mom’s will know!

2 Replies to “When I Found Out (Part 1)

  1. Wait that didn’t sound right lol. What I meant was I had a lot of similar feelings you did when I found out I was expecting Giancarlo…… And I did not love being pregnant. However, being a mother is the best gift I’ve gotten and I don’t think anyone will ever be able to match it.

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